I said it'd be important to keep a log of my thoughts, so I suppose I don't have to make everything I write too insightful or descriptive. Just a wee diary entry at the end of the day seems like a good idea, too.
It's been a good day, definitely good. Made some broccoli soup to have for lunch with mam today! It was surprisingly tasty and definitely something I'd make again. Needed the grated cheese and bread, though. Katie had some too, and even dad ate the rest later on, so positive feedback all round.
Got back into cooking these past few days, and I'm enjoying it. Not just for my own benefit, but just like baking I love the satisfaction it brings others. I know that's a common theme among anorexics: the love of cooking for others, reading recipe books, watching Food Network (not just for saucy Nigella shots). Even so, I think it's a much healthier attitude than my absolute loathing of doing anything more than choosing what to have in the Sainsbury's lunch deal to take back to the library.
Had a Nando's later on, too. Standard quarter chicken, corn and fino slaw. Part of me was enthusiastic to try somewhere different, to challenge myself with an unfamiliar menu, but Nando's wasn't my decision and frankly I was happy to roll with it. Minimal anxiety provoking, I guess.
I've eaten a bit of chocolate just now: a square of white chocolate and a bite of Funsize Snickers. I fancied them, and I know that there's gonna be shitloads of that kind of stuff floating around in the festive period so I'd better get used to eating it and not feeling guilty now!
And do you know what? I don't feel guilty. I feel good, I feel positive, and I'm going to try to eat even better tomorrow.
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