So yesterday felt good and genuinely quite 'normal'. It's days like these that almost make me feel like there's nothing wrong and recovery is easy!
Today was more difficult. I didn't have lunch with mam, which meant I was left to my own devices again. I've enjoyed eating with other family so making and eating with no other external motivation to do so felt uncomfortable. Much as I'd like to rely on my own hunger I still need some structure in my day to hold me accountable.
My tea didn't sit too well either, and I got this 'hungry but not hungry' symptom of recovery where I needed to eat more, and had a craving for food, but still felt physically full and bloated.
I hate that and it got me really jittery. Talked it through with mam and dad though, which calmed me down. I managed some crackers and cheese, protein shake, and some misc. fridge pickings.
I understand that recovery is all about discomfort, moving away from the habits and compulsions that relieve me of anxiety but ultimately harm my health. Today was a friendly reminder that it's not all gonna be sunshine and rainbows.
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